What Even Is Self-Care?

Have you ever had a job where your boss kept giving you impossible tasks to complete by a deadline, and when you mentioned it, they responded with something along the lines of, “It has to be completed on time, but you got this! Just remember to do some self-care after work. Take a bubble bath or something”.  

Maybe in that moment you had to hold back from rolling your eyes - bubble baths are not going to fix  this work issue! Since bubble baths don’t always feel like effective self-care, then what is self-care?

Self-care is taking care of yourself so that you can show up in the world in a way that feels best for you. No, it does not have to be expensive spa days or bubble baths (though if that works for you, go for it!) 

Instead, it may be speaking up for yourself when you have too much on your workload at one time. Maybe it is setting boundaries with friends so that you feel more connected with them. Maybe it is setting a weekly time to go out in nature, and not canceling that set time unless absolutely necessary. It might even be going to the doctor consistently or brushing your hair daily. 

Self-care is simply caring for yourself in whatever ways are needed and doable at that time. 

If self-care feels foreign to you, consider looking at it this way: If you were able to live as your loved one for a year, would you want to take care of their body and mind? Of course! You would nourish them, give them time to rest, give them time to play, and treat them with gentleness. Now imagine how you take care of yourself at this moment. Do you have that same gentleness towards yourself? 

If you feel ready to start being gentle to yourself through increasing your self-care, the first thing to remember is that self-care is not selfish. It’s quite the opposite! Giving yourself time to meet your needs allows you to be more present with others in your life. 

Starting self-care when you are not used to caring for yourself may feel overwhelming at first. It may help to start with noticing the three main parts of yourself: your mind, your body, and your spirit. 

Is there anything with those parts of you that feel undernourished? Maybe your body self-care might be to get 8 hours of sleep a night. Or maybe your mind self-care is to not overschedule all your zoom meetings on the same day. And maybe your spirit self-care is to sit outside in the morning when you have your coffee to enjoy the sounds of nature. 

Whatever your self-care looks like, know that you are worth that time it takes to complete it!